spilled the lemonade tank on myself at work. i will now violently die at the center of the dining area.

i have had ENOUGH

why tf am i seeing so much star wars and marvel discourse on my timeline lately? i rarely open anything of that source but every other tweet i have to see “imagine not liking the sequels” or “deadpool 3 ANT MAN SKULL???”. all from replying to ONE tweet 🥲

look between the “shut the” and “fuck up” on your keyboard 🥰❤️

i had a guy follow me into the bathroom like five seconds in tow, i sit down on the toilet, and this mf has the NERVE to jiggle the handle as if i had simply just disappeared. YOU’RE WEIRD STOP

i’ve always been told i’m not intimidating at all so i’m curious as to how twitter sees me

6.5. you’re up there

fuck yeah the bot purge confirmed my suspicions that like ten of my followers were not real

post-eclipse poop

didn’t get a lot of a corona but i got to get away from work for ten minutes lol

i have to go home to a friend that watches hazbin hotel on max volume and cries to steven universe at max volume today. i just wanna sleep tonight man.

lmao this loser made an account to DM me and then blocked me. “stay sour”, coward.

my friend keeps closing the door to my room while i’m asleep so i wake up and the room is BAKING and the cats are begging to get food because they normally wake me up when it’s time to feed them. i’ve told her three times that my bedroom door needs to be opened at all times 🤠