Well done Bradley Wiggins. Gran shall give you Spain. 2nd Gold of the Games for GB.

Chris Hoy, You are a worthy man. Well done Team GB cyclists. #Olympics2012 #chrishoy #RuleBrittania

One's on a boat, ones got his swim trunks and his flippy-floppys.

Olympic sized hangover.

Just had call from the hospital. Apparently Grandfather is only a few inappropriate comments away from being thrown out. #royalLAD

I want to go outside but Dad forgot the SPF 100. Uncle Andrew is frolicking in the paddling pool and Camilla is passed out. #ginoclock

Also Grandad has been moved to an all male ward due to his constant unwanted attention to the nurses. He's 91. I'd call that persistence.

I miss the woman's gymnasts. They were fun.

Uncle Andrew just absailed down the shard.....too early for this excitement. #thatmanwilldoanything.

Andy Murray winning the US open.....my plan for gingers to take over the world and let me play at king has started to work!!!!! #gingers

Base Attacked. Bloody Afghan. As its my birthday I shall be mainly drinking today. #PrinceHarry #naked

One has ordered the only issue left of Closer with Kate. Only so ones brother has a copy...

Every Friday should be Good Friday.

Go home, Kim Jong-un. You're drunk.

One wants gran to ban snow #shouldbesummer

Gin o'clock

Still sloshed.

M-M-M-M-M-A-A-Y-YYYYYY

Is it the weekend yet?