I have won Gold for Shitting.

I have Rejoined Oasis.

Shat on a Fucking Massive Queue.

Feral Pete told me he’d got us Tickets to see Oasis. Yep. He took me to the drink’s cabinet in Tesco.

I have a better grasp of reality than Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 and I am a Fucking Pigeon.

I can see the Northern Lights. Yep.

I am a Fucking Pigeon. He is Fucking Pigeons.

I am the New President of the United Shits of America.

If You Do Not want people to see a Video of you snorting drugs, Do Not let people video you when you are snorting drugs. Snorting drugs advice there.

Donald Trump has just appointed me as the new King of Shoes.

I have lowered my threshold for launching Shits.

Forget Elf on a Shelf. This is Bird on a Turd.

I am the Winner of the Shitterball Trophy.

Shat on a fat man in a red suit.

Almost certain I am more normal than Elon Musk and I am a Fucking Pigeon.

Here is my Review of 2024 Donald Trump got Convicted Eurovision was Shit Kier Starmer Shat himself Football was almost not Shit Shit Breakdancing Donald Trump’s ear got shot Oasis stole your money Biden lost his last marble Donald Trump fucking won Gavin and Stacey Christmas

Convinced a Herd of Cows that they are on an Episode of The Traitors. Couldn’t find any Cloaks though. Have improvised. Yep.

If you Do Not Want to Deny being a Fucking Nazi after making a Nazi Salute, Do not make a Nazi Salute like a Fucking Nazi. Nazi Advice there.

Elon Musk has done a bigger shit on Donald Trump than I could ever do and I am a Fucking Pigeon.