"Alright. I'm way too damn old for this shit. What happened this time?" Bobby stared at the reader, crossing his arms

The reader can find him asleep at the table, fingers still closed around a beer bottle

His expression softened. "Kids can be tough. Have you tried spanking, or timeout?"

"Mostly. You cannot comfort the child after though. Another good tip is to spank them every time they aren't listening. This pway, they know you're serious."

As it's pride month, I'm here to announce my proposal to my best friend. He's an idiot, wreckless, and thinks he's immortal. I wouldn't ever change him. What do you say John Winchester (parody account)? Let's tie that knot

His hip popped when he got out of bed. Yep. Bad day for arthritis

Any luck with those unruly kids 𝐒𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐡ღ?

What the hell is Tinder?

"One day I'll retire." (He won't)

His head hurts. Why can't people figure out how not to get killed on their own

On second thought, don't answer that.

If you'll excuse him, he's hiding in his safe room. He heard Crowley was back. Again.

Where is that idiot? John Winchester (parody account) better have a pretty good excuse for being late to their date

This is how you get places, and look good doin' it

It's almost chili season. He'll be collecting ingredients soon.

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

He's baking cookies. Finding his wife's recipe book made him more than a little nostalgic. This holiday season he'll put down the shotgun.

He's checking in with Ash Winchester 📲: Haven't heard anything from you in a while. Hope things are alright.

He's already up, second cup of coffee in hand as he walks back to his office.