Christ, I hate people.

She could always go bald like me. Dolphin smooth.

Mary Jane is screaming my name. No context.

If you kill me, how can I feed you breakfast?

Eggs and sausage? x.com/gingerjackpot/…

Stick to bats and other long things to hold tightly. x.com/gingerjackpot/…

Wrong f word I'm thinking of. x.com/gingerjackpot/…

If you need to hide, you know where to find me. She hasn't been over to my place yet. x.com/gingerjackpot/…

That actually wasn't flirting. Just offering sanctuary, like I did during the zombie outbreak. x.com/gingerjackpot/…

I'm glad. x.com/gingerjackpot/…

It's more fun this way. x.com/gingerjackpot/…

Nota bad thing to witness. x.com/gingerjackpot/…

// boost x.com/wos_spidey/sta…

// Example of those #UnitedMarvels rper's going after writers and characters alike. More proof. Sexist children.

*Sends a text to Mary Jane Watson* Hey, any word from Pete today?

*texts Peter B. Parker* So yeah. Merry Christmas, bud. Nailed it.

*Enters into Mary Jane Watson's club in search of her*

Dad always made things super awkward at Thanksgiving. youtu.be/QKi3pfzUIlA

I hate Saint Patrick's Day.

The best version of you is the version that had your head in a jar, dad. x.com/enviousshade/s…