Good morning, Twitter.

Being bad at a war you started is not genocide.

There’s not a single thing wrong with men wearing cargo shorts

Is she encased in a carbonite corset?

Nobody likes a narc.

Somewhere out there, there's an Ursologist who isn't keyed into social media and genuinely confused about the sudden influx of calls and e-mails with questions about bears.

Honest question time - Which of these is the most universally beloved celebrity who is still alive from this list?

The🐰FOO Ordnance Jay Packard, Esq.

Nick Fuentes is what happens when you've never ejaculated.

After fucking with a few of our boats, we unbottled the sun on Japan.

Read a book, retard.

Start wearing cargo shorts, Lucas, because the tactical skinny jeans are cutting off the blood to your brain.

Hamas has ZERO SEC Championship rings.

Riley has 5!

EAT THE RICH!

Eating a Drumstick, quietly judging you.

The bullet points:
- Just got her home from hospital
- Vandy did a great job
- Jaw was in 8 pieces, put back together as best they can… half her jaw is now titanium
- Not wired shut
- 6 weeks of smoothies & immersion blender follies
- Oh, and two teeth gone
- Not much pain

If you bring back nazis like Nick Fuentes to X for free speech, then ban the opponents of those nazis on X, maybe your aim isn't free speech.

@ElonMusk Linda Yaccarino Support Safety

Why don't recipes call for vanilla by the capful?

K. But to be fair so does the right

GM pocket frens! In 66 years I’ve only met one of you in person. Let’s fix that this year! Have a practically perfect Monday. Imma head out for my annual bob check 🤓

Not as silent as Rafah’s about to be.

#NameThatAntifa

Lumberjackass