We would love to tell you how well Ontario isn't doing at fighting COVID-19, but we decided to stop parading Doug out for his daily pressers, so you'll have to just trust us on this.

In other Ontario news now, Charles McVety does not deserve to have a university so he can grant degrees about sky fairies.

FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS!

BUCK A BEER!

Remember folks, Doug slings some primo hash! theglobeandmail.com/news/toronto/g…

We will lock down southern Ontario AFTER Christmas, to ensure that you get your full dose of COVID from Uncle Buck when he drops by on Christmas Eve with a case of 50. #forthepeople

Folks, I know it looks like our government is hesitating to act. Let me assure you that my heart bleeds for everyone who has died from the pandemic, and not just because of my coronary heart disease.

Friends, everything is on the table. This includes my hash pipe, a vial of the Moderna vaccine (for Kinga), a KFC receipt from Toonie Tuesday (I'll expense it), and some lint from my belly button.

Our government plans to lock down the entire province this week, which means we'll recommend you stay home and not be tempted to go to Costco to buy the sexy Kirkland wool socks. But if you do go, they're very comfortable socks and no one will judge you since you deserve them.

Our government would like to remind all Ontarians to exercise the same degree of personal responsibility in following the lockdown rules that you follow when not removing the snow from the top of your car before getting on the 401.

We'd love to provide you with a Christmas interview with Rod Phillips, but we can't find him. If you know where he is, please let Doug Ford and Lyndsey Vanstone know right away so we can spin this the right way.

Those grins at the end will haunt your nightmares.

Lisa is doing her best snowman impression today

nationalobserver.com/2021/04/03/inv…

Just a friendly reminder that our government has blood on its hands due to its inaction on COVID-19. This all could have been avoided, but alas, we gotta keep the Vaughan donors happy.

Doug Ford trying to fashion the best paid sick days in NA is like Wayne LaPierre trying to shoot an elephant #onpoli

Senior Doug Ford adviser Nick Kouvalis is the the person behind the new ‘close the borders’ campaign. It is designed to distract the public from the PC Party’s willful negligence & deadly incompetence. Here Kouvalis explains that he spent the pandemic travelling internationally:

Vote NDP or Liberal!