Good evening, Clarice.

Would you like to help? Make sure your voice is heard! Please let the City know you want Bevis protected from overdevelopment at planning2.cityoflondon.gov.uk/online-applica…

Seven things that were so much f**king simpler in the 1970s thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/s…

Due to recent speculation I thought it was necessary to confirm that I am not Marcus Rashford… And whilst we are here my name is not Mario either!! Just a simple Maro Itoje will do… Much love, Marcu… I mean Maro Itoje

Please Marcus Rashford run out on Saturday with an Itoje shirt.

"You are not stuck in traffic, you are traffic" - Anonymous

Good morning. Having woken from a rather sticky nights sleep and checked myself in the bathroom mirror, I can confirm that I am still NOT Marcus Rashford.

I pay £31k a year in childcare. The system is broken! THAT IS MENTAL.

Jonah decided it is election night in America. I drew Republicans. Playing to win. But prepared to acknowledge math if necessary.

Could I fall in love with someone who owned a glass chopping board? No, next question

For anyone in the UK, If you text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 when you are in a dark place or suicidal, a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great If you find talking on the phone challenging. It’s completely free 24/7. Please RT you never know who might need this support

Daniel’s my son. Profoundly Autistic. Hasn’t one friend. It’s his birthday today. In his ECHP he wrote that his two wishes were to learn to drive and make friends 😣 Please wish him a happy birthday. Please show him you care. Please share. ##happybirthday #autism #rt

The New Afghan Film Director General. This was my office, that was my flower.

Hipster coffee shop has got Tunnock’s teacakes for the first time. Scottish customer asks for one and the barista goes “we aren’t sure how to serve it, do we serve it on a plate, with anything?” Scot, bemused look to me then back: “Ye just gi it tae me, I fire it doon, no drama”

“There’s one thing I’m interested in and one thing only and that’s catching bent coppers” - A bus driver tonight

We should all dress like this when William Shatner returns from space.

Walking home this evening. Not a bad old town…

That Face Orange Tree Theatre is very powerful and beautifully acted. A tremendous production. Go - if you can get a ticket 🚬