Him: My whole programming philosophy is 'move fast and break things.' Just push the code live, let the users find the bugs, and hotfix it in production. life's too short for unit testing. long pause..... Her: Cool. Him: So, what kind of software do you write? Her: Pacemaker

Lady cheated on Chuck Norris and when they did a DNA test on their kid, Chuck was the real father but the lady wasn’t the mother

Chuck Norris reading all the Chuck Norris jokes

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

I’m at a wedding and I just objected on the grounds that they didn’t properly hold a moment of silence to honor Chuck Norris. People are very angry.

They're calling it 'The Greatest Community Note In History'

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

My oldest asked my why there are so many craters on the moon. “Well honey, each time Chuck Norris shot for the moon, he hit it.”

The QuePay Axum - meant to process payments for Automated Coffee Vending Machines. Common in events, office spaces, airports, malls etc. A customer pays via M-Pesa and the machine automatically receives the credit and they proceed to dispense. You on the other hand have your

Government Spokesperson of The Republic of Kenya Hawa hawako kadi

Local barber suggests everyone come in for a trim once a week

Honestly speaking I have always felt like Araujo is a Liverpool coded player who would thrive under the lights of Anfield.

Model: so what’s this photo for anyway? Photographer: don’t worry about it.

🇮🇷 The "told you so" crowd has it backwards... Every hawk on the internet is pointing at Iran's missile range and multi-country retaliation as vindication. "See? We had to hit them. Look how dangerous they are." That reasoning collapses under its own weight. Iran didn't

I overthink, therefore I overam.

SHSJSJSJS PEP 😭😭😭😭

“Jina inaleta Nico O’Reilly”

You never see trophy in 10 years, you dey follow Pep Guardiola do 2nd keeper for 2nd keeper rotation 🥺🥺🥺so cute

I’d be throwing hands if someone did this to my team in a cup final

‘The Arsenal Quadruple’