*Drew Brees proposing to his wife* Drew: "Brittany, I have something to ask you.." *gets on one knee* "OH NOOO! WHAT HAVE I DONE??? IVE DISRESPECTED THE FLAG!!!"

Hardly on twitter anymore. Just wanted to say that black lives matter

Got on here to say that I’m a proud Mississippian for being able to soon have a flag that represents us well and doesn’t include an emblem that allows the rest of the world to think that we cry during Toby Keith songs.

Do y’all ever get so stoned that you actually start believing in yourself?

.Senator Roger Wicker Roger Wicker is a hypocrite. facebook.com/15795926256991…

It’s a riding around with your car windows down with a smile on your face blasting “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” by Steam sort of day isn’t it?

Hey Venmo, why don't y'all have a customer service option where a venmo user can talk to person over the phone to receive help? For folks who are on the spectrum or have dyslexia the chat/email only platform is not helpful and aides discriminating against folks who are different

$600 is less than what the losers on Wheel of Fortune for not advancing to the bonus round. Congress is basically telling the American people that we vehemently suck at Wheel of Fortune and life. *insert bankrupt wheel of fortune sound here*

When you wear suspenders on an Amtrak train people mistake you for one of the conductors all the damn time.

If you’ve driven in this snow/ice and have not crashed please know that it was the ghost of Balto the Alaskan sled dog that hath protected you.

Hello?

It’s a shame that IKEA USA doesn’t have a meatball option for those who live with Celiac Disease (gluten free not by choice). Not a lot of gluten free options in general. I guess I’ll starve in an IKEA.

Happy 4/20, ya farts!

Don’t you love it when an elevator smells like garlic bread?

Hello?

I’m finally getting what New York City depression is about

Make it official, Yuri! ➡️

If anyone still reads my twitter and is in NYC: eventbrite.com/e/656167483607

Haven’t been on here in ages. Anyone still out there?

If you need healing today, get some Cantonese dim sum，it's really aromatic and flavorful。🐑