You don't even know the half of it.

WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW BABY!

I feel very attacked right now. *Makes puppy eyes.*

You seem nice. Make me some cocoa? x.com/DeadCaptCastle…

*With my head bent down, I dig my toe on the carpet.* Please. And do you have any poptarts? x.com/DeadCaptCastle…

*Scratches behind my ear as I wait and my leg starts to thump.* x.com/DeadCaptCastle…

Thanks, Miss. Is there anything I can do to return the favor? I'm good at lifting things and posing dramatically. x.com/DeadCaptCastle…

I like puppies!

I'm worried that your idea of fun is going to end up with me working mandatory overtime.

I feel like I should arrest you just in case.

Cookies?

My life is about to get more interesting, huh?

Did someone say it's #NationalPuppyDay ?