Scientists : Light is the fastest thing on earth

Judd Trump's shots

I think we underestimate the struggles and sacrifices, financially and otherwise our parents put to sustain us - education, food, housing, trips, wear etc. God bless them abundantly.

Dem anajinunulia smoky mbili nikiwa na yeye alafu ananishow nimrefund nikifika kwa nyumba after nime charge simu. Na charge namtumia 70 bob yake ananiuliza 'ata huna aibu unanitumia 70 bob surely?' Kwani smoky siku hizi ni mia mbili ama?

😂😂😂

To wake up one day and decide to inside your penis in another man's anus should be categorised as madness and highest level of retardness.

I love people who advise men to be masculine but the moment they become outrageous is the time I stop listening to them. How do you advise me to sleep with as many virgins as possible and then go ahead advise another man to only marry a virgin? What virgin?

Special care was taken while restoring Shakespeare’s grave to ensure that his bones remained untouched the epitaph on his tombstone reads:

Alcohol, a volume button that amplifies the silent voices that roam on inside our heads when sober.

I'm a very calm drinker when alone. No trouble with anyone, no chats with anyone. Just me and my phone and the 'waiter ingine' at irregular periods of time until my brain throws in the towel. I love that me. Problem starts when I drink with my boys.

Leo nimeitiwa form Blackstar lakini matawi na vijiti vimejaa kwa mdomo bwana. Hurts but okay.

Nakumbuka nikiwa kwa ndoa masaa fulani hapo kitambo, msichana alikuwa ananiongelesha kwa simu akaniboo mpaka nikalinga glass ya whiskey chini😆

Thank you Lord for taking me outta such crap man.

If I ever marry, the first three years, I'll pump her with three beautiful kids. Then there we know what next.

I've finished reading six of them, given out 2 of them. Scared of reading the others because I'll deplete them and have no one to exchange them with, thus boredom!

Nilinunulia mwanamke fulani dolly nono ya 4 sausand. The following week nikaenda kulala kwake, she was my gf that time. Pa pa pa usiku, tukalala. Asubuhi nimefunga macho naguza guza msichana amevaa nguo mingi vwry hairy. Nafungua hivi macho bwana kumbe na caress dolly bwana😂😂

You'll find what you're always looking for in VCT centres.

You'll find what you're always searching for in your husband's/boyfriend's phone.

You'll find what you're looking for popping your nose in people's business.

A woman texts me 'I have no problem with us having sex but I rarely use condoms and I need to know your status and you mine before we indulge in any sexual acitivity'. Wtf man!!

Ferre Gola > Fally Ipupa

Women are all Nyashinski fans until Nyasi said:-

'Vumilia na mimi, please don't leave me,
Don't let money the fool you,
Sponsors just wanna use you,
Namwambiaa, mtoto wa mama asiharibikeee.'

Then, there, they drew the line.

A woman once sent me boob pics and I blocked that bitch right away.

Mateta with a hat trick!! How good is he?