The United States is currently $37.8T in debt. There is only one solution to save America. We must pin all of this debt on one person and kill him.

I don't think we need two-factor authorization to sign up for Jersey Mike's rewards program. I think we can play that one a little loose.

Exactly

The Paprika Hendl of Dracula. youtu.be/SMNFERb-7Hw?si…

wild that the United States claims to be defunding the arts while also getting ready to stage the most immersive live-action remake of Les Miserables that the world has ever seen

none of you are prepared for the bilingual album she releases after Justin Trudeau attempts to teach her Quebecois French

Three years ago Will Smith was cancelled for slapping someone at the Oscars and now he just hit the game winning home run in the World Series What a comeback story

oh great.. as if the vibe couldn't get any worse in toronto the fuckin spider is out today

Letting the big fitz do the talking tonight.

brooooooo last night was a legend that lives on from the chippewa on down

my heart goes out to the brave cooks and bartenders at Anchor Bar in Superior who are going to hear more Gordon Lightfoot this weekend than they’ve ever heard in their entire lives

LinkedIn one click apply to all the jobs

Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life theonion.com/man-getting-hi…

2026 is full of 3-4 day weekends if you use your PTO right. take those days off. you deserve. 🗓️Jan 1-4 (4 days) - 1 PTO 🗓️Jan 16-19 (4 days) - 1 PTO 🗓️Feb 13-16 (4 days) 1 PTO 🗓️Mar 6-8 (3 days) - 1 PTO 🗓️May 22-25 (4 days) - 1 PTO 🗓️Jun 18-21 (4 days) - 1 PTO

I don’t know how anyone can’t be in the holiday spirit after listening to this classic Christmas song.

Reminder that the Epstein Files are supposed to be released on Friday and every political development that you see between now until then should be viewed with that in mind.

We just deplaned our United Airlines flight in Denver, with a very short layover. Within 10 mins of deplaning (and boarding already begun for our connection), the flight attendants swept the plane and found my car keys that must have fallen out of my bag. With SEAL Team 6 caliber

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, we have removed the urinal dividers so customers of all colors can pee side by side, hand in hand (if you'd like) in harmony just as Dr. King probably wanted. Celina 52 is fully committed to doing what's right as long as it's convenient

Treading through the Wastes ☢️ #FalloutOnPrime #Fallout1

A friend of mine has been hit by a few layoffs. Each time he bounces back within a month- usually with a pay bump, sometimes a promotion. He lands on his feet every single time. I asked him what he does- it's the stuff recruiters always say and many people say- "I did that" or