#WeirdFlexButOK

😂😂😂

Turns out the best cure for popping the air bubbles in wrapping paper is a viral pandemic that began in the country you’re likely purchasing from. Who knew 🤷🏼‍♀️

The Pussycat Dolls are back? Well that’s enough of 2020.

Anti- vaxxers are rushing to China AS WE SPEAK to prove us all wrong. 💪🏼 (I assume?) You have held humanity back long enough. Godspeed.

Watch any true crime production and notice how often they cut to a shot of a spider. Now tell me spiders aren’t the devil’s minions before our very eyes! We’re locking up the wrong monsters! 😱

Quarantine day 6.

Netflix: movie movie smile smile money money moneyyyyy Us: take all our money. Release everything NOW 🙏🏻

I started singing at my neighbours, Italy style. You know, solidarity or some shit. One laughed 🤷🏼‍♀️ the rest 100% think I’ve gone mad in isolation and I’m pretty sure don’t even know the national anthem. I don’t even know who’s right.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the dumb will inherit the earth. We’ll all die from their idiocy, but the GTL & NASCAR assholes are alive and thriving.

Quarantine phase: invited jojoba witnesses into my home. Arm extended (comically happy) with the door wide open, our eyes met in the most extreme match of chicken I have ever been a part of. I am drunk with power.

Tom Delonge is 100% feeling 200% better than you today.

Elon Musk’s kid’s name is proof 2020 was not a year made to last.

‘Make your purchases through loyal businesses.’ Shutterfly charges $40 for 250 prints. Hello Walmart!

Fuck this guy, I’m going to Twitter to see if Malia kicked his ass to the curb. *10 seconds later* He cheated on her and she’s gay. I tip my hat to you Internet. You really were all over that. Also, I am now a factual internet reference. 😁 #LookMaNoHands #BelowDeckMed

I have packed more Harry Potter merchandise in our move than I have sentimental stuff. By about 3x. That probably says something about me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

The world: save your TP, your food, your money! Pandemic: bake bread and tell Netflix to stop asking ‘are you still there?’ Netflix : this seems like the perfect time to up our charges to a vulnerable populous! #Greedy #HuluYouUp?

Quick heads up with magnolia products & conduct: don’t bother. I dropped $500 on faulty product, to be told by representatives if I wanted a refund I would have to take it out of the pockets of our local small business. During a pandemic, doesn’t sit well with me to do so.

Hi Netflix All of us regular people are out here struggling to keep virus free food on the table while homeschooling and unable to work etc etc and you have the audacity to do your annual price gouge again NOW? Put it off til ‘22 like everyone else is. How selfish and elitist.

What a way to end the day - SkipTheDish driver ram at my vehicle while yelling "YOU SHOULD BE SCARED!" after I told him my children were with me. I had the AUDACITY to be in a drive thru line! Class act Skip! Well done holding zero accountability 👌