Don’t do drugs, kids.

yes except for tax preparation

I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a football professional, but I would imagine you need to step under that punt, not try to catch it from a few feet back. #sooners

what if everyone agreed to be nice at the same time.

Stop normalizing violence. The first step is to stop framing anybody who disagrees with you an existential threat.

Man…y’all did that in front of Sir Alex? Shame.

Baker Mayfield is the epitome of “an animal backed into a corner is the scariest of them all”

Honk if you sacked Arnold

Can confirm. I was offended by each and every one of those plays.

Y’all who use the outer drive through lane at Whataburger when it’s storming are buttheads.

The Great State of Yolklahoma

How do you say “I dare you motherfuckers to pitch to me” in Japanese?

Pitch to Ohtani, you cowards!

Pitch to Mookie, you cowards!

Dammit, baseball! I have work in the morning!

Sooo…CHP now pitching for the Dodgers?