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I don wake up tired today. No b beans being President.

Yesterday I fit kick out some South Africans. 2day make I kick out some British. 2morrow, whose turn?

Make I make a committee to make committees

Na dese reps wan sanction me? Dey neva sabi I work in 9ja time? dailytrust.com.ng/index.php?opti…

I don decide to resign as President of 9ja. I don tire.

He he he. My previous tweet na April Fool-o!

Whoops, I don break the 11th Commandment: thou shalt not get caught. nigerianssavingnigerians.org/2012/04/04/pre…

5000 policemen mobilized for GEJ's Sokoto visit, Lmaooo, Jonathan no wan blow JJ. Omojuwa

Na dis b 419. I neva giv no interview to Mr JJ. Omojuwa omojuwa.com/2011/omojuwa-m…

I neva tweet 4 long & nobody don notice!

All dis time I don keep busy organising, whoops, correction trying 2 suppress Boko Haram.

#Mayday #1May & notin happen 4 #9ja, no protest demos, no marches, no #occupy. D ppl, dey make my life easy-o.

@Ossettgranger Na wa-o! U don forget me, de PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA. Who b Currently Not Alive? A NOBODY. Is me 4 de beautiful Windsor

Na Twitter dey kind-o, don send me email "We miss u, Goodluck Jonathan" Na better dan dese N9ja ppl who never miss me at all sef.

Tanks Seriake 4 mek Dame Patience Perm Sec 4 Bayelsa. De envelope na in de post.

I wonder, what jobs I go get 4 de kids?

Na wa-o, water don fill ma house & I no sabi swim. Where #BayelsaFloodAction team? I beg rescue me!