For a man who hates every single football match he watches, Danny Baker watches an awful lot of football.

The Tenuous Football Introductions of Sam Matterface

Tactical masterclass from Koeman this second half. Identified the issues and has nullified England’s first half strengths. Over to you Southgate.

Barely getting a kick here.

Watching Luton in the PL has prepared me for this. Strangely calm.

This is horrendous.

Southgate has clearly told Saka to push up on the right and it’s left Williams clear. He was doubled up on in the first half.

Football’s lurched out of the pub and is trying to flag down a cab in the pissing rain, not realising it’s left its house keys on the bar.

Best team won. Fair play.

I'll leave a message on the fridge, And drive my car off London Bridge

Imane Khelif is a biological woman and if you want to protect our daughters, you should protect her. If you don’t do the research to find the truth, then we should be protected from you.

Planning to stay up with my 10yo son tonight to experience the Perseid meteor shower and, being THAT sort of Dad, I thought I’d check the Greenwich Museum’s website for some interesting facts to bore him with. Oh.

"I'm more nervous for this than the Play-Off final!" Luton Town FC's Tom Lockyer opened up in The Green Room before his Pro-Am. #BetfredBritishMasters

Yes, I get it, you’re in the queue for Oasis tickets. Thanks for being the millionth person to post a picture of your computer screen.

No fucks given about the dog.

Quiet morning with Spider-Man.

The Thing meets Spider-Man