Sorry I'm late. My driver hit a pedestrian on 57th Street, and we had to stop and blah, blah, blah...

“@FuckAndParty: Girl tha back of yo head is ridiculous” Danielle Dembowski story of a hairdressers life!

I'll NEVER try another diet again! This stuff is amazing! tinyurl.com/lvk6ldk

“Slutty Girl Problems: I’m always terrified when someone’s about to scroll through my iPhone photos. #sluttygirlproblems”Danielle Dembowski

Oh, I am full. I cannot drink another bite.

Sunday I go to worship at St. Pattys. Or the Rusty Nail... whichever has Happy Hour.

I am high on life & the Lord’s my dealer. If I’m having a bad day I simply look at the sky & say, “Hey, you sold me some bad shit today.”

My favorite game, “Heads Up!” is now a board game! You'll never be bored again. ellen.tv/1aFiYNP

I'm fabulous. I'm an incredible dresser, I've got buckets of money, I'm a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack.

“judgmental gay: You will go far in life with those eyebrows. Keep up.” Danielle Dembowski

“Slutty Girl Problems: "I'm never drinking again" -Everyone on Sunday #sluttygirlproblems” Danielle Dembowski

I want to be a mermaid because they don't have to do calculus.

When breakfast was coffee, and lunch is iced coffee... you know it's Saturday in the salon.

Think about the baby Jesus, up in that tower, letting his hair down so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dreidl.

If you cry over a guy, then your friends can't date him. It can't even be considered. #sluttygirltruths

“Designer Gay: Is dry shampoo ghetto? Asking for a friend.” Danielle Dembowski ummm definitely not!