me, as a child: *walks into the kitchen covered in my own blood holding a rabbit I fought from a hawk* my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone

your true love gave you eight maids a milking? cool. just one question. what the fuck are you talking about

they’re called hooves, dummy🙄

i laugh as elon musk beams a meme directly to my frontal cortex via NeuraLink.™ omg epic win. i blink twice to NeuraLike™ it, then think very hard “thank you sir! please send bitcoin.” i open my eyes. it’s suddenly nighttime and i am strangling a union organizer.

Your family and estate should not be able to give consent to sell your voice and image to AI actually

i like in synecdoche, new york where theres a house thats permanently on fire and it’s just treated as a minor inconvenience bc everything else about it is nice

Merry Christmas IWGBRP! This month on The International Worldwide Global Biscuit Review Podcast David and David review Gingerbread Houses and come to a surprising conclusion about what the future might hold for them and IWGBRP 🎁podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the…🎁

We’re just innocent men

Self-Driving Tesla Regurgitates Pedestrian To Feed Offspring theonion.com/1850797094

Pre-holidays: I’m excited for a break! During the holidays: If I don’t return to my routine in the next 12 hours I will experience full mind and body dissociation

the beacon is lit. gondor calls for aid

Maybe one of the oddest professions in Japan is that of the bokka (歩荷). Porters who carry supplies to remote mountain guesthouses inaccessible to vehicles. A bokka uses customized wooden ladder frames to carry 100-165kg of supplies on day long marches (walk up, run down).

All respect and admiration for Messi but Jed in this movie is still the greatest dog performance of all time. That dog knew what he was playing. He read the screenplay. He made character choices

Definitely Human presents… THE DIVIDE 12 episodes of mind bending, spy-fi audio drama written by Matthew Woodcock podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the…