Yankee Stadium security chases a cat around the field for nearly four minutes and never gets its hands on what might be the most elusive animal that ever lived

Me 5 years ago: That was a good day of work, everything is perfectly tracked and optimized, I raised my CTR by 4% this week which improved the CPA by 1% from a single specific traffic source! I sure love the granular control I have! Me now: lol line go up

Potential consulting client: So why do people hire you? Me: Line go up? 🤷‍♂️

Tip: when you're designing the front end of a website make sure you set your zoom to 100% or you accidentally make a website made for ants

Oh look, a new Instagram DM. I wonder who it could be! My DM, after posting a gig on Upwork:

Sorry I've been quiet here. I got kind of busy out of nowhere. 😅

Started dabbling in NFTs and now I'm full time in it Send help

It's my birthday 🥳

Requesting faucet funds into 0x1d4649d324852689cE69D09c3401f63f4b1b1C5e on the #Rinkeby #Ethereum test network.

I have one extra ticket for Jeff Rosenstock tonight in Austin. If anyone wants it, hit me up so I can give it to you!

It's been far too long. So stoked to see Jeff Rosenstock again!

happy valentine's day love u 😘

13 years flew by. #MyTwitterAnniversary

RIP LUElinks. It's the end of the internet. It was worth it, and I had fun. Sangreen.

howdy twitter

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do (not)! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Happy birthday to Gary Halbert. He'd be 85 today. What a legend.

It's been good, Twitter. The end of an era!