It’s important to recognize that Mark Carneys strategy for building more homes for young people by building less homes than last year is just pure genius.

Olivia Chow wants you to know that she feels so deeply about it being the public’s responsibility to take-in homeless immigrants that she has taken-into her home as many as zero point zero immigrants since being elected.

Libs wants to remind Trump that Canadians agree that Canada is not for sale but also that we’re actually settlers on indigenous land but the land is sorta owned by the King but we’re totally not into colonialism and immigrants aren’t really settlers and that Muslim values are

Liberals want you to know that everything is good now because we have moved from having a lot of parents executed in front of their families in their living rooms to a moderate amount of parents being executed in front of their families in the living room.

Strange how nobody ever says that Japan is too “Japaneesy”.

White Liberals say that it’s okay to call black conservatives Maple MAGA, as long as you don’t use the hard ”R” at the end.

Liberals, after closing parliament for three months during Canadas largest trade dispute, now accuse conservatives of running from tough questions.

Third wave feminists want to remind you that it’s important for women to empower each other except for ones that have any questions about third wave feminism in which case they are all rats who should be put in camps with all the filthy men.

Liberals, puzzled the public don’t understand them, simply state that their “communicative interactions, encompassing both oral and textual modalities, use syntactic precision and lexical parsimony, thereby optimizing intelligibility for heterogeneous demographic cohorts.”.

Canadian Liberals, in solidarity with Americans who they hate, decided it was important to protest against the concept of a monarchy because Kings are bad except for our King who totally gets along with Carney which is just so great and we’re super duper thankful for.

After posting their sixth picture of Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry, Liberals think everyone needs to just give Justin more space and stop talking about him.

Liberals want to remind you that they elected Carney because he is an economist and banker who knows how to pull together a budget which is now three months late and on track to run over a $70 Billion deficit amidst climbing inflation rates.

Liberals want to remind you that they take matters of diplomacy very seriously and do their research. Unless you are a literal SS Nazi in which case you can just walk into the House of Commons and have everyone cheer for you.

Let’s take a moment to recognize that Japans foreign population is 3%. They just elected someone who ran a campaign on deportations and cutting back immigration because the Japanese people were sick of it. Three. Fucking. Percent.

People who support DEI want you to know it’s just a way to brush aside disgusting colonialist racist and toxic white guys who deserve nothing because they are all rotten inside and belong in hell so that bipoc people have a comfy safe space away from racism and sexism.

The NDP wants to remind Canadians that the best way to stop a social contagion like the opioid crisis is to make kids feel good about it. In other news, MAID and genital mutilation are also great ways to spend your weekend downtime.

CTV News wants to remind Canadians that we have a new thing called “winter” which is what is raising the cost of beef. CTV are puzzled on how to handle this new “winter” phenomenon and that paying more taxes to make the weather warmer is the only solution.