Somebody get me da Richtah scale on dat. Haven’t had a Richtah cause a buildin to shake like dat in New Yawk since MSG in ‘94. I was in da buildin!

Come fa da Mike & Dawg stories. Stay fa da Rawn Raygun - Grovah Cleveland Alexandah reference. Great time hangin with my guys Downtown Josh Brown and Michael Batnick

Get me into dis pressah to ask a hahd-hittin question!

Bettah bring moah dan a peashootah

Dawn is ramblin like me tryin to get to a 20/20 flash. We need da Mink Man to bring us home.

I’m sending a CC deCist to da Democrats. I coined da term “weiyd” yeahs ago!!

Leek Orzo. Kekerb Street. Now Nick’s Hay Bin. Fawl is here. A nice appetizah fa Deanna Fell kick awf on Thursday. Pat Hackafee can get lawst.

Is dat Ole Miss Numbah 22 on my screen?!?!

Take da ziggy awf

Listen, I’ll let da kids have dere fun but I’ve seen dis awl befaw, ok. I’ve been in da buildin fa championships - plural. Youah nawt gonna catch me goin crazy faw a homah in da first, ok

Somebody cawlled Mott E Moosh is yellin in my eah. I gave dis up when I left Dawg, ok. What did youah get me into Harrison Francesa

Da FAN will be numbah 1 lawng aftah I’m gawn - like I always said. Bettah bring moah dan a peashootah if youah gonna come aftah us

I invented Da Witchin Houah. Not Scott Hanson, not Big Cat. Me, Mike Franceser. New Yawks Numbah 1. Enough with awl dis othah nonsense

Not technically da first American Pope, ok

Not a good but GREAT groan-hola-ba.

GET ME JAY WRIGHT ON DA PHONE!!

As youah know, I have MANY sawces. Good jawb by Terry Yaki feedin me dis scoop.

Dere tellin me in my eah dat da Mets signed Dick Love Lady to reverse da pride night curse. I know da kids ah home from school but I didn’t know dey were behind da glass with Brian Monzo

Dey yused dat new technology to get me in dat video, ok. It was awl Ay Eye. Monz, da kids ah home from school in da summah

Donkeys will fly befaw Hal evah opens his checkbook. Check his othah pocket when he says Da New Yawk Yankees lose money. What an uttah joke