Mazaroui is severely hampering Mbeumo

…and we begin to fall to pieces

What is Sesko doing, that Hojlund wasn’t already doing?

Remember when the scousers were buzzing because they signed Wirtz for a record breaking fee? Well he’s been shite. Just sayin….

Can we get new John Smith’s bitter adverts with Jack Dee? I just having a craving for them.

Well I definitely won’t be going to see System Of A Down. What on earth on those ticket prices? Unbelievable

It’s all about freedom of speech until someone says something you don’t like. Then we fight. Everyone calls each other a pussy and negative vibes run rampant. Just chill bitches.

So we’ve bought a new keeper, last minute…and we continue to play the human colander that is Bayindir….lovely. #MUFC

I’ve had sandwiches that are more spiritual than Leigh. #MAFSUK

It seems that #MAFSUK is sponsored by women’s double standards.

I honestly can’t believe what I’m seeing. Davani is getting jabbed all day, he’s too short, he’s too negative etc etc. when he’s finally had enough and loses his temper, he’s made to apologise. #MAFSUK

Have United been told to not challenge for headers?

Can we all hope that Liverpool don’t bring on Ekitike. Left Mbeumo on my fantasy football bench

“They are bloody celebrating like they won the league or something! It’s only October!” - Every Liverpool Fan

I love Alan Carr Chatty Man

Julia Ruth would rather have a tall Dean Gaffney than a short Lenny Kravitz. The shallow nature of women. #MAFSUK

If anyone is curious as to why Joao Pedro hasn’t scored today….its because he’s back in my FPL team. I’ve also added Haaland back in too so be warned.

I think the people at MTV oughta do Oasis Unplugged II. A whole new set of with Liam Gallagher doing the vocals. It would be utterly amazing.

Staying in a hotel with unlimited FREE cans of Cawston Press for guests. James would lose his mind. Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster

CUNHA