Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! (Not really but... You get the point...) #MyTwitterAnniversary

If someone's using a mechanical keyboard in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it ma-*CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK*

Anyone else seen the decrease in the number of unwanted political posts over the past week? I wonder what happened...

@President_Doug The Uncle Sam When the Virus clears up we need to go to Round1 Bowling & Arcade and spend an ungodly amount of money on bevs and games.

Woohoo! Can't wait to try this little guy out for myself! Thanks @President_Doug

Trying to reject cookies.

[devops deploying my code] and this has been tested yeah? me: ....yep

The only day you realize how dependent you are on your phone is the day you go in to replace it...

It used to be that you could smooth over being late by bringing everyone in the office coffee I don’t know what the remote equivalent of that is

Elon Musk should tweet about my number of meetings so they should plummet

Instant legend.

I have committed the unpardonable marriage sin of having my child’s first words be “Dada” instead of “Momma”. Any tips and wisdom on how to proceed with penance is appreciated. #DadLife #MarriageProblems

"If someone has the courage to admit they were wrong, you should have the grace to give them credit for admitting it. Rubbing it in encourages them to never admit being wrong again." –James Clear

I just checked in to MozzaPi for Louisville Pizza Week! If your not aware of this awesome promotion week (or this Awesome Pizza Place) check it out! louisvillepizzaweek.com