every girl wants a guy that is: - tall - dark and mysterious - obsessed with them - slender -distorts my vision when I look at him too long - tentacles

if you see my car rocking it's because I'm kicking my feet really fast

what about 1 inch and a worm

putt my life into pieces, this is my last wii sports

in the function. straight up 'fortuning it'. and by it haha well. let's just say. my tarots.

first date idea: you come over and i force you to listen to the CDs i liked in 2011 on my 1001 model playstation

guys with a clown kink be like "need her carnivally"

the bassist at the show i'm at is so drunk he just asked the crowd if anyone is currently in buffalo ny... we are in atlanta ga

i think it's fun that cooking at a single dudes house is just like camping, why would we need more than one pot and two forks? that's too many things

i was born in the right generation, i love picking my skin without having to worry about dying of a bacterial infection

i had a dream i got married and for some reason my wedding had a best dressed contest and i did not win. really love what my subconscious was doing there

who need they thumbs twiddled

what if they were called garbeanzo beans? i think that'd be fun

oh my biological clock is ticking? how long until it explodes?

for sale: reply guy, never fucked