Ok so my husband and I are mad at each other, and I just noticed on the grocery list he wrote 'A Better Attitude'

Do I laugh or….?

My son was mad at me today so he told me as much punishment I had to go to my room and sleep for 24 hours. If I got hungry, he’d bring me whatever food I wanted, but I was not allowed to leave my bed for one whole day.

If you need me, I’ll be on vaca-, I mean, in my room.

“Mama, can we Google a picture of the Tooth Fairy sitting on her pile of teeth that she’s collected?” - My 6yo unlocking a nightmare I never knew I had

Full of sushi and Prosecco. Life is good.

Have kids, so you can have an entire room of your house dedicated to toys only to listen to them scream-fight over a bowl of dried pasta and a single, specific Matchbox car.

Before I had kids I always heard people complaining about children’s birthday parties but so far they’re like the best part of parenting?? Your kid runs around having fun and rarely needs you and you just get to chill with other parents?? I love them.

My 6yo asked me to write him a book about mining - so I did!

Available on Amazon if anyone else’s kids have a particular interest in mining, mining equipment, or gems. 😂

All About Mines: Cool Mining Facts for Kids a.co/d/10zW1pH

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you find yourself complaining to your husband that you think Land o’ Lakes changed their American cheese recipe because it just doesn’t easily peel apart the way it used to.

Welcome to your 40s you now rely upon your heated seats as pain relief for your aching back

My 6yo informed me tonight at dinner that he doesn’t like broccoli anymore because his taste bugs changed.

Sweet mother of a baby monkey WHY WAS TODAY NOT FRIDAY WTF.

Server: “Would you like another glass of wine?”

Me: *nodding vigorously and giving two thumbs up because I have a mouth full of food*

My 2yo and I were playing with his toy cars, and he threw one at me instead of rolling it like I showed him and it hurt. He apologized and kissed my “Boo-boo”. He then threw another one at me.

Having chocolate cake for breakfast and I’m just really proud of myself for maintaining my New Year’s resolution to make good decisions

I have a bad cold so I took a sick day from work so I can rest up while I catch up on cooking and laundry and drive carpool

My parenting book:

Chapter 1: Ask Mommy
Chapter 2: Don’t Tell Mommy

Me, finding out a friend at the gym is a professor at the university my husband attended. My socially awkward mouth:

“Oh, cool! What do you profess?”