TW self harm I've been made to feel that my ways of self harm are strange by professionals and while I've found very little information related to this I'm sure I can't be alone in them. It has been categorised quite clearly as self harm but yeah... Feel like more of an oddity

Do you reckon there is a summer version of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? My depression always feels worse in the summer...

When you can't talk to the only people you want to talk to about something as you're scared it will be a trigger for them...

I miss face to face appointments. I don't do well on phone calls and I feel I'm being rushed and I miss things I should say. And I don't feel I can book any more for a long time. So instead I'm a mess crying.

Therapy is too hard. I feel like to keep up all the skills I need is going to just take over my life and I'm still barely going to be able to live a reasonable life.

Just had one of the worst flashbacks I've had in a while. And it's late so I can't message my friends. So yeah...

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Decided I was done with being ignored by someone so I sent a message apologising for whatever I'd done wrong and wishing them well. Amazingly got a response in less than 5 mins And honestly the crap they spilled made it obvious they'd just forgotten I exist when things are OK

I'm considering returning to my blog... But I'm kind of unsure about it...

Learnt what the term blind panic really means last night. Not fun.

Back on the chemo journey with mum. And it's been a hard week. Complicated by moving my nan into sheltered accommodation. I'm exhausted but I can't allow it. I'm know I'm selfish but I'd like one of my friends to ask how I am... And then feel able to let them in.

Unconditional love is false. The one person I thought loved me unconditionally has suddenly started treating me like s***. I know I'm unlovable.

TW sexual abuse? In the therapy before my current 1 we discussed some times where men didn't listen to me saying no and forcing me. It's hit me what was said. I was asked why I said no. Like in detail. E.g. Did I not have the same sex drive. Is this important? Do I need a reason

Today has been tough. I don't spend much time on here anymore but tonight I have nowhere to turn. Sorry.

My cmht are so frustrating. If you can't attend an appointment they won't change it. They cancel it & then you go back on a list to await another appointment which you only hear about two weeks before at the earliest. Also with Royal Mail strikes the letter was delayed. East London NHS Foundation Trust (ELFT)

Not been on for ages as it was too hard and still is. So many of you I miss though...

Why Am I Alive? …ndmymentalhealthmatters.wordpress.com/2023/04/17/why…