Why the hell is it “if you can’t pay rent, buy fewer lattes” and not “if you can’t pay your employees a living wage, buy fewer yachts”?

Gentrification is just a swap. There's a 5 min window from when a neighborhood stops being desolate to when bros start thinking open container laws don't exist.

Chocolate almond milk seems like cheating at life. I hope it's not delicious.

Sometimes I politely call someone "old school" when I really just mean they're old.

Just told a nurse that "I'm a bleeder," to get an option band-aid after my flu shot. Don't know if it's true but I'm all about free stuff.

Modern politics: every debate answer is someone open mic'ing the first chapter to their autobiography.

If you don't find out if someone has siblings or smokes weed then you wasted the first date.

Finally watched Hereditary last night. Had to simultaneously put on the #WorldSeries to keep myself from getting too scared. #Halloween

News reporter @France24 just said someone was shot in the thorax. I would've said chest/abdomen or torso but I'm not as romantic as the French.

Talk about Ghost in the Shell. Delayed Valentine's Day messages were sent on every network overnight - CNET cnet.com/news/delayed-v…

Girlfriend wants a book for Christmas, thinking about getting her the instruction manual to a Peloton.

Scary to hear but doesn't mean we shouldn't listen. freakonomics.com/podcast/andrew…

GOOD

Girlfriend bought us dinner trays for when we eat and watch tv. Next I'm gonna buy us coffins.

Does anyone own a hard copy of the movie Adaptation that I can borrow?

While HBOMax has "Warrior," it's AmazonPrime that's killin' it with the free quantity of Yellow and Asian content this month. Bunch of examples: -Better Luck Tomorrow -Gook -Asian Americans (PBS) -The Farewell -2046

Cat : You don’t love it the way I do.😻x.com/catsgivestrngt…

Me: Racism exist. Present tense. Them:

Valentines Day: "I don't need a holiday, I love you everyday." April Fools: "I don't need a holiday, I gaslight you everyday."

Is #BEEF a comedy?… hmm, well: Real yellow folks have to have a sense of humor to survive, it’s defense and reflex. Would you label All Quiet on the Western Front an action movie?