Rumors are swirling that my dear, darling, deteriorating Donaleh has been taken to Walter Reed Hospital. Talk about a time for prayers...for what, exactly, I will leave up to you.

Happy Easter to my Goyishe tweeps! #HappyEasterWeekend #Easter #HappyEasterDay #HappyEasterHolidays

Nothing says "Stable Genius" or "Happy Easter" more eloquently or beautifully than my dear, darling, demented Donaleh did in his touching, elegant holiday message. I guess Donaleh got upset when he learned Barron found more Easter eggs than he did.

Oh, my dead, dilapidated Donaleh. Will we ever see the end of the endless list of things nobody has ever seen before?

I'll take, "What an unstable, narcissistic, insane sociopath would tweet for two-thousand, Ken."

TACO ALERT. OFF-RAMP AHEAD. Pakistani Prime Minister says progress has been made with Iran and asks my dear, darling, demented Donaleh to extend his deadline by two weeks. Gee, I never saw that coming. And here I had my chi-chi Apocalypse Ensemble all picked out. Curses!

I was so disappointed when I woke up this morning to find that I actually woke up this morning...and that my dear, darling, deleterious Donaleh had not blown up Iran and the rest of the world. It meant I had to get out of bed and go to my exercise class. Selfish bastard.

Did you know that in the just-opened DEATH OF A SALESMAN Broadway revival, starring Nathan Lane and Laurie Metcalf, the car is onstage the WHOLE time?!? Gee, talk about Ford-shadowing.

While Melania and I were shmaying at Nordstrom Rack, I asked her about yesterday's statement on Jeffrey Epstein. "How could you do this to my darling Donaleh when the Epstein thing had almost disappeared completely?" "He make me sign ironclad pre-nup." bbc.com/news/articles/…

Republicans, MAGA, and the GOP... Can't live with them, end of sentence.

I've been alive for what, 130 years or so, and I have never seen a doctor who wore an outfit like this. And, not to pick nits, but all of my doctors have medical degrees. At least now we know that the ashen patches on the backs of my Donaleh's hands are from them being on fire.

Well, if my dear, darling, dreadful, demented Donaleh believes he is Jesus... I guess that makes me Mamaleh Mary. No wonder I've had the urge to put Helen Reddy's "I Don't Know How To Love Him" on endless loop.

The only good thing about Melania Trump is Laura Benanti! youtube.com/watch?v=rPE5ZU…

Finally, the truth has been revealed. Donald J. Trump...the "J" stands for Jesus... Or maybe it stands for Jeffrey Epstein.

Now that my dear, deranged Donaleh has single-handedly solved the world crisis he created & Iran is our closest ally, Mamaleh has decided to travel. Help me out. I haven't flown in over 50 years. Which of my favorite airlines do you recommend these days–Eastern, Pan-Am, or TWA?

My Donaleh and his plan for more peace talks with Iran? Well, um... It is being reported that Iran has not agreed to more talks tomorrow and that they will keep the Strait of Hormuz closed until the Epstein Files are released...in Persian. Go figure. aljazeera.com/news/liveblog/…

Donaleh & I distracted u from affordability by releasing the Epstein files. We distracted u from the Epstein files by going to war with Iran. We distracted u from high gas prices with a ceasefire. We've run out of distractions to distract u from distractions. It's distracting.

Well, my Donaleh changed his mind about not changing his mind about changing his mind about whatever the Hell he's doing with Iran. What else would you expect? It IS TACO Tuesday, after all... axios.com/2026/04/21/tru…

What?!? We've seen the last of Karoline Leavitt until after her spawn emerges? I can't imagine anyone repulsive, vile, and incompetent enough to replace her. Maybe Leona Helmsley's corpse? Martin Shkreli or Stephen Miller in a wig and pumps? #Shabbat #ShabbatShalom

Leave it to my dear, darling, dementia-riddled Donaleh to invent TACO Saturday. bbc.com/news/live/cd7j…