I really hope that isn’t the case. Otherwise, I’ll have to not go to the tighty-whities during laundry week as much.

I need to be protected at all costs. I’m just a naive little thing deep down and you know this.

Come back, 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐒, 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘. I haven’t gotten my daily fix of seeing how many times I could make you roll your eyes in annoyance today.

I said that? . . Must’ve been the non alcoholic booze 𝙏𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙧. gave me today.

I met a girl name 𝙎𝙠𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙧 today. . Outside of the peculiar name, she makes really good pancakes. Good enough for me to stick around.

I would fight against this idea but the last few times she left me alone, I almost sat the apartment on fire. Frying french fries shouldn’t be that complicated.

I see what you’re eyeing. You’re not beating the gold digger accusations right now. Bless that poor guy’s heart. Take me for a spin sometime, though.

Spoken like many women I know. . Never wanting to put the effort in to make the relationship work.

Except I’m the kind with filling in the middle. . Sweet on the inside.

And I don’t even have to pay you? The power that I possess is insane.

It’ll be hard not to judge cause I’ll be busy getting my Juris Doctor degree. On the bright side, if you ever need a defense attorney in the future, I’m your guy.

The discovery channel.

Please, don’t toy with my feelings, Moon. I’ve been trying to get Yasmine to take me shopping for months.

Trust me, I know. She wanted to go to um, what was it. . sounded like a country singer or something. Brunello Cucinelli? I can’t even spell that, Moon. Thrift store it is.

I’m like fucking Morris Bart. . One call, that’s all.

Don’t take that shit from her, other me. She stole your wallet, only things in there are unused condoms and dimes.

I’m sorry, pardon the over exaggeration of me coughing but did you just say $600?! . . That idiot ripped that shirt trying to do an impression of The Hulk, I think.

No. That can’t be me. I’m a walking embodiment of size not mattering. I’m under 6’0 with the baddest and hottest girl around.

The closest I’ve ever gotten to owning a shirt that expensive, it was when Tory offered to steal one for me. But, we’re in complete agreement about that. Let’s splurge this weekend. I have about. . . $62 saved for the week.