Congratulations to Essendon fans, your club won the trade period premiership and the national draft premiership for the twentieth year running, amazing stuff

my life on days like this

As a member of Gen X, I am calling it… the Simpsons sideburns gag is officially lame. Way overused, and just cringe these days. Stay tuned for further updates.

Feels wrong that it’s 11:18am on the day of the first test of the summer and play isn’t due to start for another two hours. #eastcoastbias #ashes

Big ups to Ross for releasing #Cricket26 on the eve of the Ashes, not easy to hit deadlines like those! Hope sales and the Baggy Greens both go well today.

Pretty ordinary ball, just extremely poor batting by Crawley there, schoolboy error. #ashes

Bazball apparently means flash at everything outside off in the first hour on a new deck. #ashes

Boland pitching it up: 💩 Boland short of a length: 🐐 #ashes

Catching technique: 😬 Catching result: 2/2 #ashes

Luckily Brook and Stokes are the perfect men to put their heads down and grit it out in this situation #ashes

Bazball is [1980s-era-expletive-deleted]ball. #Ashes

All time mozz by Cow Corner Warner, get him off #ashes

Zak Crawley paying fine tribute to the legendary Peter Brock with #ashes scores of 0 (5) and 0 (5).

Doggett to flog it at Duckett who whacked it to the pickets at the cricket. #ashes

Scott Boland entire 1st innings and first spell in 2nd innings: 🍋‍🟩 🍇 🍈 🍎 🍍 Scott Boland second spell in 2nd innings: 💴 🐐 🔫 🔥⭐️ #ashes #AUSvENG

Old mates at Stick Sports should rebrand as Travball tbh

It’s the never ending torrent of Facebook-style slop content that is driving me off this hellsite. TV trivia, boring history, mid punditry, film clip thirst traps… zero-worth crap.

Okay it’s time, way past time in fact. This is my final tweet. The account will remain, but go silent. App deleted, goodbye content slop, adios to the algorithm, no more creeping fascism. See you where the sky is blue.