I like Drew Starkey more after learning that he's 30.

I taught the algorithm that I want to see every new set of polls, and now I live in hell.

I forgot how deeply unsettling it is to be the only person in an empty screening room.

Sometimes I hear the siren call of fluff and fold.

This is so Robyn Dixon-coded.

i need to stop treating social media like my diary but unfortunately i signed up for livejournal when i was 13 and now i need to have my intimate thoughts and feelings acknowledged by strangers before they feel real

Wicked is going to hit so different depending on who wins the election, and if I will have self-lobotomized before seeing it.

Zeke the Plumber is legitimately scary

when my kidnapper says i can leave if i name 3 words that start with W:

Everything I’m spiraling about is completely valid, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.

we effectively shortened the campaign cycle down to 3 months and josh & co. are doing their best to show us we'd benefit from cutting it down even further. let's do the 2028 primary in late september, convention in october, debates november 1

What if I became obsessed with finding and trying every apple variety. That seems like a good use of my time.

OK so is it one movie now, what are we doing here.

A lot of you are pretending you wouldn’t eat a little of the ant-infested resin-covered croissant lamp, but I know you better than that.

Oh cool that makes me feel optimistic about the future of Paramount and also the entertainment industry as a whole.