Nothing inspires quite like a well-stocked bookstore.

We ordered a west elm bed frame 6 weeks ago. The time to deliver to the store was 2-4 weeks. We called today & they didn’t know where it was. Ten minutes later, we got called back. It turns out it had been delivered to the store weeks ago. Not great #CX.

While I cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom to briefly distract myself from the world, a very important thought occurred to me: Does WWE wrestler Brock Lesnar ever clean his oven? My super hot take: He doesn’t have to; he doesn’t bake. Matt Fonner, Jacob #DoesBrockBake?

I love that I just called the SAP Concur customer service line, and I received an automated message that basically said, You are on your own.

I think the guy sitting next to me on the train changed seats because I was googling #HSM facts. Weird. It’s a perfectly normal thing for a man in his 30s to google.

As an adult, I have discovered that #Christmas is a national holiday celebrating the art of washing dishes constantly. #MerryChirstmas

Am I the only one currently wondering where he will be next year to celebrate the 25–year anniversary of “Clueless”?

I could not be more excited for #HIMSS19, mostly because I know Matt Dunn is going to look great at the opening reception’s superhero-themed costume party. He’s going as super good-looking guy in dress slacks and matching shirt. #inspired

When the first thing a Southwest Airlines customer service supervisor demands of me is “Tell me if you are a Rapid Rewards member,” then I know I won’t be treated with respect. From our convo, I learned I was going to have to spend more money to be treated nicely.

Like anyone else would be, my wife was so excited to hear I made cauliflower and mushroom sandwiches for dinner. I know how to spoil someone. #YourBellyIsJealy

Today at the gym, all five men wore gray T-shirts and black shorts. Wally Wright, what are the odds I could have gotten all of us to take a #totestwinsies photo? Also, a sixth man entered wearing a black shirt and gray shorts. What was he thinking?!

I’m a grown man & I still live in fear every #StPattys Day that someone will pinch me for not wearing green.

The music played during the decision moment of every #HouseHunters is stuck in my head. It’s really put a lot of pressure on every choice I’ve made today.

Bruce Weber is throwing a temper tantrum on the sideline of the #KansasState game. He threw his clipboard & it hit a player. The TV commentary celebrates his “leadership.” Actually, he looks like a grown man acting like a child. Let’s stop appreciating men behaving poorly.

If you haven’t been made to feel like an idiot for asking questions about a piece of tech, call the service center at SAP Concur. You will soon assume the fetal position.

I’ve been sitting in a plane at O'Hare Intl. Airport for over an hour. How long can they keep us on here? Can’t we just depart?