Just had 9 McNuggets.

I can't even get fucking recognised in Starbucks now.

RT to win! Green embroidered paisley cotton scarf... Here's to St Paddy #welovepg #stpatricksday

Cram fucked me up on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

@BuckmasterSimon is now following me. Fuck knows why.

For anyone who's patiently waited for a 'Danny Mahon' album. There's a fucking party going on right now at soundcloud.com/dannymahon x

Applying for some jobs and listening to Danny Mahon

@michaelbarrie1 I made an absolute fortune. Keep your beak out

@roxotron you're 40 if you're a day.

@michaelbarrie1 don't bring a knife to a gun fight my friend. I'll take you down.

@michaelbarrie1 I will fuck your shit up and carve the Olympic Rings into your arse.

@michaelbarrie1 listen, matthew c baker III is my head of security. You won't even get past him.

@michaelbarrie1 matthew c baker III way do you for a living you simpleton?

@michaelbarrie1 you really are a strange and tedious little man aren't you.

@michaelbarrie1 matthew c baker III what's it called if I bum your dog? Peaches? I've been watching you in Hornchurch and Rainham. Mummy Peaches

@michaelbarrie1 matthew c baker III this guys a chump. I wouldn't waste my jizz

@michaelbarrie1 Boris Johnson leave my mate Boris alone you nasty little man

Fuck me. I got Stephen Fry writing me letters. I can't be arsed reading it.

I just received my vinyl copy of The Slow Readers Club new single - Forever In Your Debt. It's a top tune. Some limited vinyl still available