Does anyone else check to make sure the oven is off before leaving the house even though you haven’t used it in months? Yeah, yeah… Me neither.

Every once in a while I’ll type my name into the search bar just to make sure I’ve still got it. Spoiler alert: I do.

Someone told me my name is too short to shorten. I beg to differ. I will now be going by “Ug”.

I can’t decide. Which shirt do you like best? #DecisionsDecisions

Today is the autumnal equinox. Autumn is a weird word. Aw-tuhm… AW-TUHM… how did that sneaky “n” get in there anyway? #HappyFirstDayOfFall

One of Doug Jr.s latest masterpieces. It’s titled, “Feathered Family.” #NationalFamilyDay

Help settle a debate for us. Would you say a straw has one hole or two? #DougThoughts

If you swallow a pumpkin seed whole, should you be worried about a pumpkin growing in your stomach? Asking for a friend (but please respond soon, I’m freaking out). #NationalPumpkinSeedDay

National Cake Decorating Day is a great excuse to celebrate two of our favorite things: customizing and cake.

To celebrate #NationalSportsDay, LiMu and I have decided to try a new sport. What sport do you think LiMu would be best at?

I told LiMu we were going apple picking and he thought I said apple “pecking.” Soooooo this is my life now.

Nothing to see here. Just waking my neighbors up at 5 a.m. on a Saturday with my leaf blower.

Why are there never any stories about emu ghosts?

Happy Halloween, folks! LiMu went all out this year. I didn’t even recognize him.

These #Halloween costumes are scary… SCARY GOOD! Customized insurance FTW! 🎃 🙌

Daylight Saving Time might be the closet I’ll ever get to time traveling. Emphasis on “might.” #DougThoughts

I can't stress this enough… he doesn't even have a mustache.

Some helmets are red, some helmets are blue, my fantasy score is seventy-two. #FantasyFootballProblems

Googling “what to get a large bird for his birthday” did NOT disappoint. Thanks, internet! Help me wish a very happy birthday to my best pal, LiMu! #HappyHatchDay

Getting ready to play “guess the shape of these vintage cookie cutters” again.