*texting liberal girl* omg girl boss down…lmk if u need anything 😏 *texting communist girl* ding dong the witch is (almost) dead lol…lmk if u wanna celebrate later 😏 *texting my main hoe* YOUR MAJESTY YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS…lmk if u need anything 😏

Every party has that one dude. looks weird as hell. starts kneading on you and is always like ‘meow’

Polonius: What do you tweet, my lord? Hamlet: bangers, bangers, bangers. P: What is the matter, my lord? H: I need pussy from a girl with bpd P: I mean, the matter that you tweet, my lord. H:grippy sock footjob P: (aside)Though this be madness, yet there is method in it

Gay guy twitter: I was TODAY years old when I learned Satan is low key serving soft boy! He has an extremely fuckable bussy y’all are sleeping on it Straight guy twitter: drunk driving is fucking aweosme I wanna die so bad Bisexual twitter: I don’t know what this would entail

posting a picture of a woman’s pussy on my Conservative Rage Bait account: Umm .. this is nasty! 🤮 Quote tweeting on my Leftist dunk account: I would fuck her sexually!😤 She is fucking sexual to me! Replying on my Miss Piggy AI OnlyFans account: You fellas ever fuck a hog ⁉️

my friend: Nah cuz why white people got grandparent names like “gree-graw” and “pip-pip”😭 My alien friend trying to riff:And for why is the purple people named Grimace😂 *awkward silence* Me, hitting him hard whispering in his ear: do not embarrass me like that again gorlax

good to see my track coach is doing well

If They Had Weed In Hades Sisyphus gone off the gorilla glue : Bruhgh.. This boulder shit mad funny 😂 Prometheus messing with the lighter: Nah the liver eating is crazy 😭 🦅 Tantalus texting ex: u up.. 🥵 If They Had Weed In Hades

that first weekend after your work uncle gets out of prison

2025 The boys: “aura farming” The girls: “throwing ass” Scrotcher the talking cat: imprisoned and tortured at off site location for 2 years by US federal marshal What is happening to this country

Worth a read en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_E…

ex finally texted back we’re so up

Dracula Freestyle

my unc was found guilty of trafficking nephs across state lines

Saved this when I was drunk last night and my boss saw in my camera roll

Coke heads must be stopped

“im washed” “im chopped” B*tch, you sound like vegetables! Get the hell out of my face 😹 -LaughterHaver original tweet, 2025

I don’t even got it on me rn dawg