Takin a bite on some Chunky Monkey. Hopefully I can find somewhere to enjoy my Monkey like under a bush.

Met with the Queen the other day and she let out a quiet one. Then I said, Pardon my Hiney, Your Majesty!

Most Wanted Bachelors are Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies. http://bit.ly/VnxTJ, thanks mastersoftrivia.

Wouldn't you guys want to see Simon Cowell kiss Susan Boyle when she wins Britain's Got Talent? Best thing on TV since Magnum P.I.

Susan Boyle sings Cry Me a River on CD for Charity in 1999. http://bit.ly/IyCqy. CBS the early show interview. http://bit.ly/10bbnj

Almost forgot to say thanks to you twits in etherland for following me. l'm like a humble apple pie. Warm inside and crusty on the outside.

Shaheen Jafargholi and Susan Boyle will be finalists on BGT. Never thought a middle-age lady and 12-year old battling would be so exciting.

Watch Simon Cowell talk about Susan Boyle and bitch about Ryan Seacrest. http://bit.ly/I9Cnm

Jean-Michel Cousteau says we can do our part by always bringing your bag to the supermarket. Guys, it will also improve your marriage.

Boost your immunity for the Swine Flu by eating your vegies and lots of Garlic. At least keep others 5ft away like Late Nite Host that bite.