From now on I’m only getting pictures taken of half my face. What’s the difference? You already know what the other half looks like - pretty much the same

Talkies is coming back to the Bay with two✌️killer lineups! 🏞️ Sac Comedy Spot 4/10: -Sad Vicious -Becky Lynn -Jesse Fernandez 🌉SF Punch Line 4/11: -Sad Vicious -Ashley Monique -Jesse Fernandez 🎟️ Ticket link in bio!

The power of cinema’s captivating storytelling

Product idea: bag full of do not eat packets with one piece of jerky

had three missed calls from my mom this morn before she finally got her msg through

🍊NEXT THURS 6/15 8PM 👄Talkies is back at @whammyanalogmedia This month we got: 🧡Megan Gailey 🐅Casey Ley 🥕Jenny Yang 🍑Geri Courtney Austein 📙Joshua Kilcoyne 🧶Hosted by talkies crew Aviva Siegel, Land Smith, Nick Stargu, & George Chen 🎃Ticket link in bio!

Deeply regret not buying this hat when I was at the Universal Studios gift shop.

☀️ Mr. Sun ☀️

Now too much time has passed for me to X about the earthquake

Whenever I read a youtube comment that's like "this makes me nostalgic for something I've never experienced" I feel deja vu

What an earthquake! What up twitter

What’s up earthquake twitter - did ya feel that one

netnutz.net is taken? wtf

My friend Weedly has got an electric guitar instead of a head. He gets laid a lot, but I think deep down he just wishes he had a regular human head. I can tell when he's bluffing in poker because he fidgets with his whammy bar.

My new thing is “poppin’ bottles” as default reaction instead of thumbs up. Text me for champagne emoji 🍾

That was a real jerky one for me #earthquake

Kamala looks like the president in one of those space movies set in the future

A grub hub is also a compost bin, if we are talking about larva

Tired of all these Zeppo babies (offspring of Zeppo Marx?)

🚨 #BREAKING: Eaton Fire is rapidly approaching a facility storing hundreds of pounds of chlorine gas, per LA Fire radio traffic Firefighters going door to door evacuating nearby residences GET OUT NOW!