Very on the nose that these guys think the ideal leader would be a nonverbal autistic kid who spends 16 hours a day spooning with his mom watching womens daytime tv

I abandon here my rizz

Big House this year and beyond #TBH12 umsmash.com/big-house-this…

Gigantic L for America yesterday

Going to Wawa in 2024 is like living in a waking nightmare. When the person in front of you is waiting on 7 sandwiches and is buying two bags worth of drinks you kinda lose the ‘convenience’ of a convenience store

Seeing there’s a DK vs Pikachu matchup tomorrow in top 16 of a supermajor

We need to mobilize the UN into England to save their people from their own cooking what the Fuck is beans on toast Ethiopians eat better than this

halk tuah you should interview the guy who friendly fired pat tillman @HalieyWelchX

Just huge news for anti-rapist fans, Deshaun Watson blew his Achilles out and hopefully never plays football again. It’s days like this I think maybe god does shine down upon us fuck you Deshaun rot in hell

Hawk Dua Lipa

Every time I go to a bank I’m stuck behind two boomers who somehow are having their first ever experience at a bank in their life

i oscillate wildly between “the average person is smarter than you think” and “the average person can be influenced by shapes and colors the same way a baby gorilla would during enrichment time” but every 4 years it’s gorilla time for like 6 months non stop

4 beers, a 6mg Zyn, and My Way by Frank Sinatra is enough to bring any man to his fucking knees.

Another 4 years of opening social media, seeing headlines like “Trump called every member of the NAACP the N word to their face”, and see people say “that’s my president❤️” I want to burn myself alive today

20 million less people voted this year than 2020. 20 million people saw a fucking insurrectionist and traitor to the country on the ballot and couldn’t be assed to walk out their front door to try to make a difference

Announcement regarding my future coming in a few hours

The dunkey quote in the high school year book ohhhh we would have loved each other

If you’re working retail on Christmas Day you should be allowed to be drunk on the clock

dude its just so clearly a nazi salute

New cookbook called “Cheeseburgers in ParaChrist: learning how Jesus can touch your soul through food”