Chris Koslowski (@kozlowrazor) 's Twitter Profile
Chris Koslowski

@kozlowrazor

Writer, Teacher, Instructional Designer; MFA Grad @SCMFA; Debut novel KAYFABE available now from @mcsweeneys; Confidently fogposting

ID: 51973009

linkhttp://chriskoslowski.com calendar_today29-06-2009 05:39:09

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226 Followers

512 Following

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Has anyone considered that fog spelled backwards is gof? And that Jared Goff is leading the 14-2 Detroit Lions to their best season in franchise history? What could it mean?

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Wastrels, in their juvenile fashion, will jest that the governor of South Carolina, Henry McMaster, sounds like Foghorn Leghorn. I have no time for this tomfoolery. Instead, I call upon our governor to be the “fog horn” that warns America of our greatest threat, the cursed fog.

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Alarmed to discover so few patriots continuing the important work of fogposting. Well, comrades, the enthusiasm might be burning off, but this fog sure ain’t. The threat is as thick and gloomy as ever.

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How can we prepare for the fog if we can’t predict it? Dr. Cowan is among our best, and there’s no obscuring the importance of this message.

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When your head is in the clouds, like mine, you start to see the it everywhere—in the head of a fine beer, through the blurry vision in the first few blinks of morning. To a regular person, simple pleasures. To me, a stark reminder of the hideous fog.

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I fear that amid all this cloud posting, people have forgotten the true danger. Consider: what is more fearsome? A cloud (hundreds, if not thousands of feet aloft), or the insidious fog (lurking at ground level).

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Heard a story on NPR yesterday about New Buffalo, MI - aka “New Puffalo” after the booming marijuana business. A sober reminder to all — marijuana can cause brain fog. And trust me, the fog is just as dangerous inside your brain as it is outside.

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Worried about our brave men and women of the National Guard patrolling Foggy Bottom in our nation’s capital. Truly the epicenter of our war on opaque air. Godspeed soldiers.

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At long last the Truth will finally be revealed! The World will discover that this American hero was a tragic victim to our most insidious villain…THE FOG. Thank you for this selfless clearing of the air, President Trump. May God Bless You And These United States.

At long last the Truth will finally be revealed! The World will discover that this American hero was a tragic victim to our most insidious villain…THE FOG. Thank you for this selfless clearing of the air, President Trump. May God Bless You And These United States.
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FRIENDS—This Halloween Season, you may be tempted by promises of spooky, seasonal ambience to purchase a so-called “fog machine.” BEWARE. DO NOT BUY THIS PRODUCT. If you need a reminder, just ask yourself—Would you purchase a “death machine?”