This is the joy we need today

Men will literally spend $1B on Shohei Ohtani rather than go to therapy. #BlueJays

Every family who shops at Costco should be required to have a “designated shopper” who knows how to Costco. They don’t dawdle or wander aimlessly. They don’t abandon their cart in the middle of the aisle. Only designated shoppers allowed in store on weekends or near the holidays.

Raptors just ruined Christmas.

The Raptors have to suck it up - some times the 10, 12, 15 or 29 straight calls just aren’t gonna go your way.

The L2M from NBA Official on last night’s Raptors/Lakers game concludes that actually there should have been MORE fouls called on the Raptors. Good work all, no notes. #WeTheNorth

I’m more emotionally invested in Siakam and Anunoby thriving with their new teams than I am for anything the Raptors do for the remainder of the season.

Let the beers pay the beer tax. I pay the Homer tax.

There’s any easy solution here, just let Mitt Romney take the dog for a drive.

Biden looks great during this SOTU. Whatever he’s taking to have this kind of energy, keep him on it. I’ll have what he’s having.

The thing that amazes me most about this SOTU is that Biden is even better when he goes off script to challenge heckling Republicans. Best SOTU performance I can recall.

Today we sent our application to name a laneway off Parliament St "Funkadelic Lane," so TO will have a Parliament-Funkadelic intersection. It's a fun and deeply meaningful way to honour iconic musicians who lived and played here ♥️🛸 RT if you think council should approve!!🙏

New @sonos update completely removed the custom playlists I’ve been building with my son for years. It’s his favourite thing to do and now they are gone without warning. Sonos needs to roll back this deployment until they get these major issues resolved.

My only pit pick with SNL last night is that they should have gotten the real Margaret E Atwood to be in the Tim Kaine sketch.

It finally makes sense

All I can say is good luck to the next President finding someone smart enough to work the hurricane machine.

Toronto Raptors Collin my agent to get me out of here

“Mr. October” was already taken, so now Vladimir Guerrero gets his chance to become “Mr. November.” #BornReady #WANTITALL #jays

Canada: Wayne Gretzky is palling around with Donald Trump, he couldn’t be a bigger national embarrassment! Gretzky (literally): Hold my drink.