'I wanna talk' she threatened

Hot UPS guy looked at me dead in the eye and said “I have a package for you”. Pretty safe to say I got a man now

Oh! That’s why you’re so weird. You’re Canadian.

Proper listening is a very highly underrated skill these days ...

AskAubry 🦝 For $150 a week, I will be assembling a confit of grape with pate de peanut, served on a bed of Wonder.

I blocked all the perfect people here last night. So if you can see this, how are you fucking your life up right now my fellow hot messes and trainwrecks?

Another day, another chance to make things worse.

You’re goddamn right I’m looking in your medicine cabinet.

everything is fake

Just need to shout, “Where the fuck are my keys?!” a few more times, then it’s off to work I go.

Let’s go to the bookstore, eat chicken wings, and fuck like there isn’t a tomorrow.

If you're a well adjusted adult what the hell are you doing here?

It's so awkward when you're taking your bra off in front of a guy and it gets stuck and he's all, 'Ma'am, you can't do that in Home Depot.'

Don’t even think about giving up.

One of these days I am going to get my shit together. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Hello all. C here again.

I want to tell you about my husband. But first: dalessandroltd.com/m/obituaries/S…

He was a joy. He was beloved by so many people. My socials have been nothing but tributes to him. He was and is beloved by so so many.

(1/?)

What base is it when he watches you fall off your barstool with a mouthful of loaded fries?

excuse me while i kiss the [redacted]

Do you ever think about people that you used to interact with out here and wonder where they are, if they’re happy, healthy or even still alive?