'Couldn't we get a Roomba to do the vacuuming, Gabe?' 'Stop trying to get out of your chores, Pixie.' 'If we got an #android it could do your chores too.' 'And what would you be doing, Pixie?' 'Supervision. Tell Alexa to tell the android to tell the Roomba to hurry up.' #vss365

'The brownies are all gone, Pixie. How did you eat them already?' 'I have a very high metabolism, Gabe. Do you know how many calories it takes just to #hover long enough to grab the tub from your secret hiding spot.' He shakes the container. 'I'm guessing... this many.' #vss365

Every #atom of my body vibrates in horror. Gabe's wings twitch - he feels it too. I open my mouth but his glare silences me. His mother lifts the packet... pours it into the mixture. I bite my lip to stop a scream. He shudders. How could she? Nuts. In the brownies! #vss365

'Pixie! I said no trolls with colds in the house. The place is slimed.' 'I didn't invite any, Gabe. Honest. It's... alien goo. They crashed their #saucer. I helped them blast off again.' 'Uh-huh. Of course. Funny how aliens leave size 12 troll-prints. In the goo.' #vss365

'Why are you always so grumpy in the morning, Gabe.' 'Because, Pixie, I live with a hyperactive ball of chaotic #energy who can't sit still for 5 seconds, thinks pranking is a full-time job, & once replaced my shampoo with glitter glue. I have to sleep with one eye open.' #vss365

'You can't shock me anymore, Pixie. I've seen every prank you've ever pulled.' 'Ah, but it's the #unseen ones you really have to worry about, Gabe.' '...what did you do?' 'Nothing... yet.' #vss365

'Gabe, this is Monty. I invited him for tea.' 'Hmmm... what is he, Pixie?' 'If I'm reading the waving right, he's a #Martian with a ray gun & plans for world domination. But he doesn't like the tea, so the invasion's off... hopefully.' 'Let's make more tea- just in case.' #vss365

'It's Spooktober, Gabe. Let's watch a scary movie.' 'Oh no, Pixie, last time we did that you were in such #terror that you slept in my bed for a week, wouldn't go to the bathroom alone, & tried to exorcise my mother.' 'She looked possessed!' '...easy mistake to make.' #vss365

'Why am I getting the blame, Gabe? I wasn't even near you when your feathers caught fire. What's next - my fault the sun came up?' '#Heliacal damage is one thing, Pixie. You hiding a dragon in the chimney quite another.' 'I did warn you not to clean the fire.' #vss365

'Of course, Mother. Another pillow? Tea & biscuits? Anything, Mother.' 'Gabe, stop being such a #creep. She'll never leave. Here - whoopee cushion in the pillow, popping pustule powder in the tea, & a beetle bug biscuits.' 'Pixie! She's my mother... fine give them here.' #vss365

'We all have to make sacrifices for science, Gabe.' 'You mean I do, Pixie.' 'Immaterial, Gabe. My #experiment is a success. We now know, despite similar natures, that rock trolls & golems shouldn't be mixed.' 'And MY house is the evidence?!' 'Well... what's left of it.' #vss365

'Ooooh! I see a white hair, Gabe.' 'What? Hardly, Pixie. I am only 2 millennia old! I've got ages before I'll sport #argent, flowing locks.' 'Hmmm... that would look distinguished, but I'm not sure the argent will outlast that bald spot.' #vss365

'My dear, Pixie, you are such a #ray of sunshine. I don't know why my Gabriam complains about you.' 'Thanks, Mama G. Gabe can be a bit grumpy.' 'You don't have to tell me. When he was a little angel, still in nappies, he used to-' 'Mother! Stop telling stories about me.' #vss365

'Why so grumpy, Gabe? It's #Halloween, the best day of the year.' 'I've had complaints, Pixie.' 'Really? But everyone loves playing trick and treat.' 'And there lies the issue, Pixie. It's trick OR treat.' 'Not the way I play it.' #vss365

Pixie always leaves glittery footprints on my keyboard when she's been up to monkey #business. Today she reduced her first big story to just 99¢/99p. So if you love her & Gabe's tweet-sized adventures, maybe you'd like 228 pages of them. #vss365 books2read.com/u/bODv1N

'What sort of #creature is that, Pixie?' 'No idea, Gabe. Found it in the woods. As a compassionate person & scientist, I brought it home & gave it a cookie. Oh, I think it likes you. It's sniffing & smiling. Wait, are those fangs? Don't move. Or maybe - actually - RUN!' #vss365

'That's just not fair, Gabe. You can't dismiss my ideas. The rules you insisted on say you have to consider all my requests - & that includes pets!' 'Pixie, a pet is a #domestic animal, not a fire-breathing unicorn with anger issues & a taste for eating my socks.' #vss365

'Awwww, poor Gabe got a boo-boo?' 'It's not funny, Pixie! I'm black & blue.' 'Well, let that be an #education, Gabe - never poke a sleeping rock troll.' 'It was in my bed!' 'Hey, I was being kind giving him yours. Mine's too small.' #vss365

'Pixie! What is that smell?' 'You're in for a treat, Gabe. I'm making my dad's #famous beetle bug stew. Hmmm... the earthy tang of worms, the nutty pop of wood lice, the crunch of a stag beetle - Gabe? Gabe! What's wrong? Where are you going?' #vss365

Gabe pries open the book, releasing me from its papery jaws. 'I warned you about the Angel Archive, Pixie.' 'I got lost! The #geography keeps shifting. One minute - wall. Next - a shelf with teeth. You know, it's meant to be hungry FOR knowledge, not hungry knowledge!' #vss365