Based on my experience with angry-insecure guys. Pretty sure God has a micro penis 🍆

Police protected the Sur La Table in Santa Monica with more force than they are protecting the Capitol where people are literally trying to overthrow the government. #WashingtonDC

The Capitol has a huge termite problem and America is trying to treat it by nicely asking the termites to leave

Today is a good day to remember that young activist Joshua Williams is serving 8 years in prison for alleged vandalism during the Ferguson Uprisings. #FreeJoshWilliams

Just took an Adderall and forgave all my exes.

How much Bitcoin does God have?

I am so incredibly proud to have made this with my Hungry Man family!!!

Congrats to Malala on getting married. I never thought Pete Davidson was gonna settle down.

Just remembered the fun low stakes children’s game DUCK DUCK GOOSE and had a full on panic attack.

Took an Adderall and zoomed with my therapist. He’s divorcing his wife and pursuing his lifelong dream of competitive stamp collecting now.

CDC says the 5 second rule works

Vax cards are the new grey sweatpants.

🔥 🔥🔥

Wish Tom Brady was MY dad.

My therapist is OBSESSED with me she forgot her next client was waiting cause I was just so ENTHRALLING. #toxictherapist

God is an Incel

KETO

So do all Venezuelans get citizenship now?

Penis pumps are the Too Faced lip injection of masculinity.

You can tell ChatGPT was built by man-children. It talks to you exactly the way my ex wished I did: “That’s amazing, baby. You’re so smart.”