Claiming you work harder than everyone is like giving yourself a nickname. #Hardwork #TrustTheProcess #justputinthework

The older you are, the bigger a flex being in shape is.

#NewProfilePic

When the neighbours have sex I feel like I’m participating remotely. #corporate#life

Tush push more kelce or hurts #askingforafriend #PhiladelphiaEagles

Always compliment a new lover’s vagina when you finish sexing. Tell her it’s “sporty” or “kempt.” She’ll be #psyched.

"Nothing beats a chick with sexy fucking legs... Except Ike Turner." Based on a Chris Brown joke.

Take your coveralls off for F sakes. You're in the waiting room at the doctors office. #riggin #its2013 Ian Brown @JamieBrown42

Sleeveless shirts are hipster now! #Jackedwithtoms

MIAMI! -will smith

For now on that's how you shoet! brock mcmillan EmreF @JamieBrown42 @jordanhodgkinso @realdarkhelmet

Who is ray Allen?

@realdarkhelmet @bigaristotle @jamiebrown42 @brockmcmillan15 @treekaminski Heaters gonna Heat?

Steroids in baseball!!!

Riley cooper should probably take up hockey.

Tebow to Eskimos?

Henceforth, I’m only accepting calls from gold iPhones.

@JamieBrown42 hilarious

If Umbro shorts ever make a comeback I will be the first to jump on that trend bandwagon. #SorryNotSorry