I have so much potential as a frog

I shall build the stage upon which you will shine

Friend: Don’t you know the song Happy Birthday? Me: Who’s it by again?

I workout to happy birthday radio

sorry if I come across like i'm real sometimes

I'm sexually attracted to Italy

youtube.com/watch?v=6Gx5KT…

I don't want to be sweet. I want to be feral.

I want my vibe to be you don't know if I'm joking or serious

Sorry, I’m unavailable. I want to think about memes.

I was put in your path to keep you humble

Purposely leaving my mic on and camera off while talking to my cat

Bro, the vibes tonight are enchanting

Guy: if you knew [obscure fact] about [obscure topic] you'd understand Me: no shit

Me: if you knew [secret knowlegdge] about [esoteric topic] you'd understand Guy: oh shit

The sexual tension between me and the desire to join a convent

In the club looking for somewhere to curl up and fall asleep

One thing I learned recently is that there is a tunnel under Ocean Blvd. #didyouknowtheresatunnelunderOceanBlvd

“When I reread what I’ve written, I feel like I’m swallowing my own vomit.” —Clarice Lispector

Sometimes I purposely lower my IQ as a treat