HIS NAME IS AIMO ALLAN KOIVUNEN!

You’re a metabolic freak. Your temps are sick. The girls call you a furnace. You increase the global temperature after every meal. You are Ray’s strongest Peater.

Whenever faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem you can abuse a variety of stimulants and something is bound to happen

Like anyone will take you seriously.

This is the thanks I get?

I’m telling the liberals on Twitter that they have less than one year

I need 30 minutes of direct sunlight with a coffee in my hand daily or else I die

insane

Islamification and its consequences have been a disaster for the Persian race. Ahura Mazda will rise again!

Men only want one thing

Twink death truly is the greatest crime

I’ve been using the term “football team” in conversation a lot lately, but anything that has many different highly specialized positions works.

Some people would never make a team as a lineman, but are hall of fame kickers. And you need a kicker. Also why I say you never use…

“Aren’t you cold?”

Help me find my frends.

If I were the prosecutor during the OJ case I would've gotten that conviction.

'How would you feel if you didn't kill your wife?'

'... but I did kill my wife'

Case closed.

My son pronounces “pizza” like “puta” which is quite the word to be screaming repeatedly across a restaurant in the Southwest