Can't even go to the bar anymore. My Sharona by The Knack shazam.com/track/20146784…

my bank loves to "invite" me to buy a car. first of all, I'm flattered but more importantly, shouldn't they specifically know that's not really in the cards

i need the dragon robe from The Substance more than i've ever needed any garment

what's the problem? theyre just doing that thing where you keep rapidly switching which player you control and hitting the dive button

you made me stop reading the actual story and flip all the way to the back of the book for this?

I'm the only person who really understands what the substance is about (allegory about incompatible roommates)

It's Buy My Book Monday, in which I ask the good folks still sticking it out here to buy my short novel, The Secret Chord, a rumination on love and nostalgia through the eyes of someone who really liked making mixtapes amazon.com/dp/B0DFVM23H2

excellent detective work sir

wanna be clear here: there's no such thing as a "tube-shaped bagel"

i am officially counting out touchdown trevor