🔥Telegram İfşa

Is it just me or does 5G not work very well? I get it in some test corridors and my internet immediately goes haywire. Assuming it’s because the signal doesn’t have much penetration.

If I could text my dog: there are a bunch of squirrels in the grocery store parking lot. Get your fluffy ass down here and cause a ruckus.

Hey AT&T your #5g internet sucks eggs. I could check an online yoga schedule faster on a Motorola razor in 2003. It’s also probably going to give us all cancer. #Bring4gBack

Now that we all agree #SCOTUS is pretty politicized, why don’t we just elect them? National, popular vote to 10 year terms seems super reasonable. My other idea is burning the council of robed, elder witches at stake, which also seems super reasonable.

1/8 UST depeg, beginning of the end? Terra 🌍 Powered by LUNA 🌕 UST lost it's peg to USD and dropped to as low as 67 cents on 10 May. Reasons are both market and idyosyncratic stress events, which led to a spiralling crash.

I hypothesize that the demise of sky mall magazine has something to do with the rise of belligerence on airplanes. Does anyone have some data on the subject?

ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND OVER THIS

I dressed up as Walter for Halloween in 7th grade and this scene was my primary inspiration: youtu.be/YedqV4Gl_us #markitzero

You should be able to buy hits of dopamine on Amazon. Pay 10 bucks and over the next week some guy in a call center with a beyonce-looking profile picture likes a bunch of your insta pictures. #InnovationThatExcites

Why is LinkedIn now used for obituaries? All I want is to find a job, and all I get are long winded posts about how a friends cousin's daughter-in-law passed in her sleep. Always a tragic lead in followed by a motivating, career-oriented close.

I keep getting targeted ads for softball pitching coaches. I’m a man, 10 years past my athletic prime, and 20 years past my last little league game. What the fuck did I google?!?!

Why don’t we turn all of the public golf courses in austin into public parks? Like 2% of the population golfs and like 90% enjoy the outdoors. No sneaky “just a little bit of development” allowed when we convert them.

It’s wonderful that being weird is cool now, but it would have been more wonderful if that happened while I was still in high school!

I intellectually understand that Kanye West is a Trumpian buffoon, but I still emotionally feel that Late Registration makes my bones boogie.

Don’t y’all really miss Obama sometimes?

open.spotify.com/track/4x4cclsd… Patty cake patty cake fuck patty patty fake

Do those fancy Japanese toilets with a bidet suds you up car was style?

I can’t follow a recipe to save my life but I can make I yummy

Why are chicks so much hornier in books?

Can we just get Obama back?