Very niche, but you know that move that Amy Santiago makes in the opening credits of Brooklyn Nine Nine? Need that but for real. I will not elaborate.

They would rather live under the tyranny of any man than the benevolence of any woman. That’s really all it is.

My husband’s barber just blocked me on FB for saying this. Now my husband needs a new barber. WHEN WILL THE TYRANNY END???

I wish there was someone in her ear to convince her not to take the high road.

“For literally no reason” and yet the reason is right there.

Buddy said stop bringing up old shit

It’s TODAY!!! I’ll be providing your all-vinyl soundtrack from 1-3pm, so come say hi and show me what you bought!!!

John Cena needs to be more discerning with his follows. There is no reason to be following half of humanity. You too, Melissa Joan Hart!

I’m taking a nap later. No one can stop me, I’m grown.

When I was young and people wanted to bring this aesthetic back, they just made swing dancing popular again. They didn’t try to upend democracy about it. I bet these dummies can’t even Lindy Hop.

My 2025 good deed will be getting decent seats to see My Chemical Romance, leaving after DEVO, and passing along my seats to some kids in crappier seats on my way out.

I’m going to be here still for a while because I’m a bit of a masochist, but let’s hang out over there too.

That was Mike Tyson’s entire butt ass booty so I guess we gotta just be ready for whatever

So the thing I wanted to happen didn’t happen, but maybe a bunch of crappy people lost a bunch of money anyway? And I had a good sandwich today? Still a win for ol’ Jillaroo.

I was simply not prepared for an actually competitive football game. I was planning to take a nap and now I’m awake and upset.

Is this thing on? Come have fun with us at this BONKERS lineup at The Paper Machete tomorrow afternoon at Green Mill THEY’RE LETTING ME HOST!!!!